Have you ever noticed that people just have a way of pissing you off? How and why do they do that to you? Do they have some special power or are they just idiots. Actually neither. They’re just another living organism en route to somewhere. Do you think they wake up thinking I’m gonna piss that dude off? Highly unlikely. They’re just being who they are and you take exception to them. Wait — you mean that I’m pissing myself off? Exactly. We’re surrounded by stimulation and some of it rolls right off and some of it hits like a hammer. Why is that?
To answer this question you have to have an appreciation for the human brain. Your brain has both a conscious and an unconscious part. Believe it or not neuroscientists report that up to 99% of your daily behaviors are a function of the programming of your subconscious mind. That means that less than 1% of how you feel is conscious. Much of how you feel and react to the world around you has been subconsciously programmed by someone else other than you.
Your subconscious thoughts were established by programming specialists known as your parents. As soon as your brain was able to download data from the world, subconscious programming was off and running. Early programming starts inside the womb and becomes increasingly strong until at least the age of 6. After all, you couldn’t do much conscious thinking about the world until then.
Imagine yourself at age 2 sitting in your high chair witnessing your parents argue. Your parents barely give you a thought because you’re too young to know what’s going on. WRONG! You may be too young to understand how the argument fits into the world but your subconscious mind is learning how to protect itself during confrontation. You’ve experienced your parents’ behavior and you will soon mimic it strengthening your ability to behave just like them. This behavior starts as a child and will likely continue to plague you for the rest of your life when someone or something activates the program. You will likely be unaware that your behavior is a function of a learned response that may have had nothing to do with you at all.
Know this, the unconscious mind doesn’t care whether you thrive in this life or not. It’s simply there to keep you alive and protects you from pain and disappointment. Unfortunately, you may act like a knucklehead hampering your personal development. You may develop a condition known as IGOTSCREWEDitis when actually you have been screwing yourself with your crappy behavior from a subconscious program. Your brain is full of these subconscious programs.
Consider this. When you drive and talk on the phone, who’s driving the car? Your subconscious is driving the car. It knows exactly what to do without you having to think about it because your conscious mind is involved in a phone conversation. It’s another example of a learned program that doesn’t require the conscious minds input.
On the flip side, imagine growing up in an environment with parents who accepted each other with all their flaws and found a way to love and nurture a family. Perhaps you heard things like, we love you so much, anything you set your mind to you can achieve, when things get tough remember that we’ll always have your back, mistakes are encouraged as they will teach you how to grow, I forgive you, and the most powerful of all…I’m sorry.
If your brain produces programs out of these types of behaviors, then you’ll be conditioned for success. You’ll react to things differently than the person who learned protective programs. You will always seem to come out on top of almost any situation.
How do you change a program of the unconscious mind? You first have to recognize how you react to certain stimuli. For example, imagine as a kid you were constantly accused of hurting your baby sister, as she would always cry when your parents left the room. “ What did you do to her?” your parents exclaimed. You’re constantly blamed for something that you didn’t do. You learned to act out in defiance. As an adult, someone accuses you of something trivial and you lose your mind. You’re thinking that this person FREAKING PISSES ME OFF. Who do they think are? Realistically you’ve over reacted because of something that happened many years ago but you’ve been strengthening this behavior for many decades and now find yourself alone—angry and pissed at the world that’s been screwing you.
Once you recognize the behavior and the ugly feelings that come with it, engage your superpower—the conscious mind. Tell your subconscious mind that you will no longer be a victim to this feeling and behavior and to knock it off. Exercise restraint and recognize that the fight is within not with the person or problem in front of you. Let your conscious mind decide how it wants to feel. Instead of feeling anger and frustration from an old subconscious program, use your conscious brain to quickly focus on things that you are grateful for. It won’t change in a second but with consistency it’ll become a habit and you will rewrite the subconscious program. When you become skilled at this, your behavior will change, you will change as a person, and things will start to come your way. Life will no longer be out to screw you. You’ll stop pissing yourself off.
Give it a shot and be patient, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Dr. Peter Percuoco is a Board Certified Chiropractic Neurologist and a Keynote Speaker. With 30 years of experience, Dr. Percuoco has stepped out of the clinic and onto the stage to share his message of hope and potential inspiring people to be the best that they can be.